Nasty Nate

Nasty Nate loves to hate
It's just the way he is
He would set some bait and wait
For his little sister Liz

In the morning he would put a fly
Inside a cereal box
In hopes that she would start to cry
When she lifted the tops

At school he told her friend
Rumours that weren't true
Then stayed out of sight and
See what she would do

Sometimes he would stuff his stinky socks
Inside of her bed
Sometimes he would sneak to some sweet spot
And scare her out of her head

But little Liz liked to love
She's sweet as sugar that way
Even when push came to shove
She thought it was all just play

She giggled at breakfast
When a fly flew out of her cereal
She was a princess by recess
And her friends ready to kneal!

She had fun finding
Secrets Nate had stashed in her pillow
He would jump out from hiding
And it gave her such a thrill! O!

And that made Nate irrate
Which should have been great
Because he loved to hate
And it gave him more reason

But he felt as if he had been bested
Like a thief that gets arrested
Or a simpleton that gets tested
It wasn't very pleasin'

So angered
Was he
In fact

He mangled
His tee
And hat

He was
So mad
It's true

Because
He's bad
And she's good

There was something he had to do
To get her gosh golly good
Something more than a sock or 'Boo!'
Something to make her cry
If he could

Maybe he could put jam in her shoe
Or call her something really rude
Maybe he could fill her hat with glue
Or make her believe a big fat lie
If she would

No.....these were all okay
But simply not enough

They were good for any day
But he wanted to get tough

So he plotted in his head
Mean schemes that all fell short
He strained his brain 'til his face turned red
But couldn't get an idea of any sort

So he looked on the internet
To gleen what he could get
And there, by luck, he found his bomb
At 'Brothers Revenge dot com'

Her birthday was coming soon
And he was going to get her a balloon
Not only that, but a small cake too
With a candle, and some glitter-glue

The plan fell easily into place
Without a loose end to chase
He mused as a smile grew on his face
Everything was so wonderfully right

He had just enough time to prepare
Perhaps enough to add some flare
Every detail had to be dealt with care
But he would try with all his might

The day came
Her birthday
Everything was ready

He'ld get blame
In the worse way
But his nerves were steady

A cake
On a springplate
To get her in the face

A shake
Made of paste
He added just in case

Inside a balloon was gum and glitter-glue
So when he popped it over her head
Her hair would be full of goo

At first she would think she was a queen
With all the school giving attention
But suddenly it would all turn mean
It was going to be worth the detention

Nasty Nate couldn't wait
It would be his golden hour
When that cake jumped off the plate
And turned her sunny smile sour

The moment came
At last
While everyone was eating lunch

He called her name
Everyone turned fast
And ceased their midday munch

The wheels on the cart whined
As he started his cross-room trek
All the watching faces shined
To see what would happen next

Liz was overly ecstatic
She joyfully squeaked and giggled
She hopped like a rabbit
And danced and wiggled

When suddenly...

Billy the bully stuck out his foot
And the cart bumped on his lace
It tripped the trigger on the trap
And the cake hit Nate in the face!

In shock, his arms flailed in the air
Which popped the ballon of goo
It splattered almost everywhere
Including the other students too

They weren't putting up with his guff
And pelted him with their lunch stuff
Soon food was flying everywhere
And Nate got more than his share

There was gelatin on the windows
With jam, pie and more
There was peanut butter on the ceiling
With lettuce, tomato and banana peelings

The walls were spattered with red and blue juice
Balony, pastrami and pasta fazoos
The floor was fully a slippery mess
Even Liz almost got a spot on her dress

Nasty Nate could not believe his fate
As a grape pasted on his face
Blinded by icing in his eyes
He tried to run and hide

But there was a slip and a trip
Luckily he didn't come into harm
Because he managed a firm grip
On the fire alarm

There was enough glue on his hand
To make it stick to the thing
And, as if he had it planned
The alarm began to ring!

Now there was a wild stampede
As everyone headed for the door
He wanted to be the lead
But was jostled to the floor

He curled into a frightened ball
As so many feet rushed by
But that didn't help at all
So he began to cry

And as he lay in a helpless heap
Getting kicked and stepped on
He thought of something deep
One of lifes precious lessons

The world was meant for Liz
And all the love Liz is
Her honesty
Her innocence
Her caring and sharing assistance
Her politeness
Her brightness
Her sweet and meek righteousness
Has always won the day
As if it couldn't be any other way

He didn't stand a chance against such charm
Trying only brought him harm

So he gave up once and for all
He was tired of the futile mission
It was like banging his head on his wall
He had finally learned his lesson

He lifted his head and looked around
On the off-chance Liz could be found
She was arguing with Billy the bully
What they were yelling, he couldn't hear fully

They were pulling on the milkshake made of paste
Nate jumped to his feet and made haste
"It's my brothers gift!" he heard her hollar
"You can't have it, even for a dollar!"

The tug-of-war was getting mean
When Nate arrived on the scene
Billy thought he had to deal with both
And he was already at the end of his rope

But the new Nate said as sweet as can be,
"Let him have it Liz, and I'll buy you three"
So she let go and Billy fell back
The shake shook open and spilled on his lap

Nice Nate was covered in cake
Glitter-glue, pasta fazoo and crepe
Head to toe was a bunch of lunch crud

Yet little Liz still gave him a great big hug